the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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