R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
