Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.