Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
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Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.