I must be too annoying 4 u.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2