Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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