Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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