I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
it's like iHOP with fire
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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