I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize