I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
