my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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