I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
