I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Even my vagina gasped.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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