is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?