Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
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I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
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The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.