Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
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your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
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WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in