The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
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All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
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Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs