Dude, just got a bummer.
A blow job from a homeless chick.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
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Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
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I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.