Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.

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(773): I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader. http://tfl.nu/8khu

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(843): View more from South Carolina

By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.

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(843): By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours. http://tfl.nu/tce7

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.

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(780): we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said. http://tfl.nu/m7ps

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(201): View more from New Jersey

If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?

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(201): If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box? http://tfl.nu/nvmk

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(816): View more from Missouri

dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...

(1-816): View more from Missouri

Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.

(816): View more from Missouri

that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.

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(816): dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock... (1-816): Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings. (816): that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it. http://tfl.nu/66g0

Replies (35) Good night (12170) Bad night (1278)
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(251): View more from Alabama

He managed to light the Jello on fire...

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(251): He managed to light the Jello on fire... http://tfl.nu/tu7i

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(510): View more from California

Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.

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(510): Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret. http://tfl.nu/p1m5

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(410): View more from Maryland

I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile

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(410): I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile http://tfl.nu/t48c

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense

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(920): I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense http://tfl.nu/23hg

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(678): View more from Georgia

Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?

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(678): Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be? http://tfl.nu/hgpj

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(316): View more from Kansas

Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.

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(316): Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night. http://tfl.nu/xbe7

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(630): View more from Illinois

I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.

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(630): I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks. http://tfl.nu/bpzl

Replies (3) Good night (1595) Bad night (400)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.

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(847): Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite. http://tfl.nu/nf89

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(607): View more from New York

U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl

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(607): U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl http://tfl.nu/xeyc

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL

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(403): I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON (403): PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY (403): THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL http://tfl.nu/9qgu

Replies (3) Good night (438) Bad night (327)

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