have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
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