I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
