I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Holy sore nipples Batman
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
