ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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