Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
