I want to stick my p in your. b.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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