can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
