HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.