I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.