Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.

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(410): View more from Maryland

operation have a gay friend backfired

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(540): View more from Virginia

She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"

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19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(318): View more from Louisiana

I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

At least he's a nutritious stoner...

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(913): View more from Kansas

They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.

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(323): View more from California

He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.

(310): View more from California

Please stop calling it that.

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(785): View more from Kansas

I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!

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