Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off