she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
