Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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