check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
