I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
