my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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