I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
