I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
