i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
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