I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
