im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
