You really coming over, don't trick.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
