As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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