If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
