So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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