I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
