Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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