Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
