she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
