I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
