I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so explain again why im purple
no
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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