Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
false alarm. still invincible.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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