I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
