Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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