In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
