I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wish you could order shots online.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
