He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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