well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
