I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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