tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
