i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
