There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
