I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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